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For a selection of some of the best bibilical quotations taken from the holy scriptures - the bible that tells Christians how to behave and tell us that this religion is all about peace, love and compassion:-

1) All great truths begin as blasphemies. -George Bernard Shaw

2) Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 a throw on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward.

3) "And God said: 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on Me. And let there be lawyers. so people don't blame everything on Satan.'" -- John Wing

4) "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships." -- Jimmy Shubert

5) "Things you'll never hear a woman say : 'My, what an attractive scrotum!'" -- Jeff Green

6) "I have sworn upon the altar of God, eternal hostility to every form of tyranny over the mind of man. That is why the clergy oppose me."

-- Thomas Jefferson

The above is inscribed on the Jefferson Memorial, though the last part was left out in the interest of brevity.

7) "The Christian god can easily be pictured as virtually the same god as the many ancient gods of past civilizations. The Christian god is a three headed monster; cruel, vengeful and capricious. If one wishes to know more of this raging, three headed beast-like god, one only needs to look at the caliber of people who say they serve him. They are always of two classes: fools and hypocrites."

-- Thomas Jefferson

8) "The truths which God revealed have been overthrown by the truths which man has discovered."

9) Humanity has yet to invent a deity that it superior to itself.

10) "Who says nothing is impossible? believers do it every day!"

11) Religion is a major weapon in the war against reality.

12) "The inspiration of the Bible depends on the ignorance of the person who

reads it." -- Robert G. Ingersoll

13) "If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward,

then we are a sorry lot indeed." -Albert Einstein

14) "Whenever I think of how religion started, I picture some frustrated

old man making out a list of all the ways he could gain power, until

he finally came up with the great solution of constant fear and guilt,

then he leaped up and started planning a new wardrobe."-- Steve Blake

15) "One man's theology is another man's belly laugh." -- Robert A. Heinlein

16) "Why am I writing nickel a word novels when I could start a religion and make some real money?" -- L. Ron Hubbard Who went on to found the cult of Scientology

17) They know that it is human nature to take up causes whereby a man may

oppress his neighbor, no matter how unjustly. ... Hence they have had

no trouble in finding men who would preach the damnability and heresy

of the new doctrine from the very pulpit..."

[Galileo Galilei, 1615]

18) "I refuse to be labeled immoral merely because I am godless."

-- Peter Walker on alt.atheism

19) "I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you

do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will

understand why I dismiss yours - Stephen Roberts

20) "To assert that the earth revolves around the sun is as erroneous as to claim that Jesus was not born of a virgin."

-Cardinal Bellarmine, 1615, during the trial of Galileo

21) "I don't think we're [here] for anything, we're just products of evolution. You can say 'Gee, your life must be pretty bleak if you don't think there's a purpose' but I'm anticipating a good lunch."

-Dr. James Watson, Nobel laureate Biophysicist, co-discoverer of DNA

22) Religion is excellent stuff for keeping the common people quiet. -Napoleon Bonaparte

23) All religions have been made by men. -Napoleon Bonaparte

24) An illusion shared by everyone becomes a reality. -Erich Fromm

25) "Religion is the opiate of the masses." -Karl Marx

26) "Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable. . . A man full of faith is simply one who has lost (or never had) the capacity for clear and realistic thought. He is not a mere ass: he is

actually ill." -Henry Lewis "H.L." Mencken

27) "I am an atheist, out and out. It took me a long time to say it. I've been an atheist for years and years, but somehow I felt it was intellectually unrespectable to say that one is an atheist, because it assumed knowledge that one didn't have. Somehow it was better to say one was a humanist or agnostic. I don't have the evidence to prove that God doesn't exist, but I so strongly suspect that he doesn't that I don't want to waste my time." -Isaac Asimov

28) "God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh." -Voltaire

29) "Religions are all alike - founded upon fables and mythologies." -Thomas Jefferson

30) "I don't believe in God. My god is patriotism. Teach a man to be a good citizen and you have solved the problem of life." -Andrew Carnegie

31) "It ain't the parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand."

-Mark Twain

32) "Religion is all bunk." -Thomas Edison

33) "Among all mental diseases that have been systematically inoculated into the human cranium, the religious pest is the most abominable." [Johann Most, "The God Pestilence",]

34) "But here steps in Satan, the eternal rebel, the first free-thinker and

emancipator of worlds. He makes man ashamed of his bestial ignorance and

obedience; he emancipates him, stamps upon his brow the seal of liberty and humanity, in urging him to disobey and eat of the fruit of knowledge." [Bakunin, _God and the State_ (1874)]

35) "If god doesn't like the way I live, Let him tell me, not you." [As seen on a button]

36) "[My wife] liked to collect old encyclopedias from second-hand bookstores, and at one point we had eight of them. When I wrote my first historical novel---back in 1980, before I was online---I used them often as a research tool. For instance, I learned that the Bastille was either 90 feet high or 100 feet or 120 feet. This led me to formulate Wilson's 22nd Law: 'Certitude belongs exclusively to those who only look in one encyclopedia.' "--Robert Anton Wilson

37) "Even if the open windows of science at first make us shiver after the cosy indoor warmth of traditional humanizing myths, in the end the fresh air brings vigor, and the great spaces have a splendor of their own." --Bertrand Russell

38) "Though he has attempted to separate the terrorists from their religion, Mr. Bush invokes his own faith in his call to 'disarm' (the preferred euphemism for attack) Iraq. Having identified Saddam Hussein as evil, it only remains to remove him to achieve good. If this seems a simple-minded solution to a complex problem, it's because it is. That's the beauty of dividing the world into two camps: us and the evildoers. All ambiguity and moral qualms evaporate."-Maryland Writer Gordon Livingston

39) "In theory I am an agnostic, but pending the appearance of rational evidence I must be classed, practically and provisionally, as an atheist. The chance's of theism's truth being to my mind so microscopically small, I would be a pedant and a hypocrite to call myself anything else." --H.P Lovecraft

40) "...the attitude that one ought to believe such and such a proposition, independently of the question whether there is evidence in its favor, is an attitude that produces hostility to evidence and causes us to close our minds to every fact that does not suit our prejudices." --Bertrand Russell

The Quotations Page