National Secular Society, Bradlaugh House, Red Lion Square, London WC1R 4RL Telephone and fax (020) 7404 3126 e-mail kpw@secularism.org.uk

Department of Trade and Industry
1 Victoria Street (V UG82)
London SW1H OET


Clergy Protection Rights

Thank you for the invitation to respond to your consultation on the question of extending statutory employment rights to clergy. I have taken the precaution of seeking a consensus of the National Secular Society's Council before replying. You will be pleased to learn that they reached a unanimous position.

As we understand it, the employment status of ministers of religion differs from other employees in that they are deemed to be employed by God. As we are informed by a leading theologian, God is omnipotent and compassionate, so he should make an exemplary employer. Also, according to our informant, God is without imperfection and therefore any dispute arising from employment with Him will by definition by the fault of the employee. It is hard to know how disputes can be resolved. Arbitration would be difficult, although the Pope might be able to lead the arbitration process. His infallibility would ensure a fair outcome every time.

If arbitration fails, then legal action might be contemplated and a tribunal made up of father, son and holy ghost is a possibility. We're not sure whether this counts as three or one, but it is just as well we have an established church; it can show its worth by clarifying this matter for ministers. We do however worry about the impartiality of a tribunal so constituted and how it would communicate its decisions, a burning bush, perhaps? On balance, we would suggest a conclave of bishops or an abuse of priests to settle the matter.

We feel beholden to draw to your attention, however, the growing numbers of clergy who do not believe in His/Her/Its existence. In the interests of equity, we propose that those clergy who are prepared to sign a declaration to this effect should be deemed to have a terrestial, rather than a celestial, employer (on whom the serving of enforcement notices could prove problematic).

Normally, as your colleagues on the Employment Directive team will testify, I am only too happy to get together with DTI staff to elaborate with due gravity on the finer points of contentious issues. Unusually, on this topic however, I have little else to add - so I am fervently hoping that you will accept my declining your kind offer of a meeting with good grace.

With best wishes, yours sincerely,



Keith Porteous Wood, Executive Director