Invitation to Join Belfast Humanist Group www.reids24.freeserve.co.uk

Worldling's Christian Poetry
*

Bloke called St John
Wrote Revelation
Ensconced in a grotto,
Apparently blotto.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To the fans of Intelligent Design
We're the work of some genius divine.
But to judge from the state
Of the human prostate
Their "designer" was out of his mind

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

More on Worldling's Christian Poetry

*

Charity

Charity, so admired, decked like a bride,

Loved and desired , no dissenter peeps under the veil.

 

Charity lies soft in the exquisite shell, like a hermit.

Till its needs are no longer covered, discarded and search for another

 

Charity, purveyor of all that is good, trader in halos,

What is your stock and how do you give such a bargain?

 

You take the needy, the poor, blind and sick,

Take the old, take life's flotsam and jetsam.

 

Do you look at their needs? Do you search out the root?

Do you spread out the harvest between us?

 

Does their fate make you ache, anger...incite you to fight?

Demand that their cries should be heard?

 

Oh no, charity picks the shell to suit her own shape.

Drinkers drink, runners run, 'suburbans' play 'sales' and 'bazaars'.

 

Rattle the tins and have a good time, you see it is really quite fun.

The money we raise we wrap in our conscience, and trade it in for a halo.

SM

From  'Transience' a collection of verse some with a humanist theme.

*

Have you hard about the dyslexic christian who worshipped a dog?

Or the one  who whorshipped dog?
Or what about the dyslexic muslim who whorshipped lalah?
Or the dyslexic atheist who's god was a poodle?
Or even the dyslexic satanist who worshipped drivel?

 

Where did this guy come from?

There were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Black:
1. He called everyone "brother"
2. He liked Gospel
3. He couldn't get a fair trial.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish :
1. He went into His Fathers business.
2. He lived at home until he was 33.
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin, and his mother was sure he was God.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with his hands.
2. He had wine with every meal.
3. He used olive oil.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut his hair.
2. He walked around barefoot all the time.
3. He started a new religion.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.

But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:
1. SHe had to feed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food.
2. SHe kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.
3. Even when SHe was dead, SHe had to get up because there was more work for Her to do.

Doing the round on the news groups.