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Do I Believe? by Noel Coward

Do I believe in God?
Well yes, I suppose, in a sort of way;
It's really terribly hard to say.
I'm sure there must be, of course,
Some kind of vital, motive force,
Some power that holds the winning cards
Behind life's ambiguous facades,
But whether you think me odd or not
I can't decide if it's God or not.

I look at the changing sea and sky
And try to picture eternity;
I gaze at immensities of blue
And say to myself "It can't be true
That somewhere up in that abstract sphere
Are all the people that once were here,
Attired in white and shapeless gowns
Sitting on clouds like eiderdowns

Plucking on harps and twanging lutes
With cherubim in their birthday suits,
Set in an ageless, timeless dream
Part of a formulated scheme
Formulated before the Flood
Before the amoeba left the mud
And, stranded upon a rocky shelf
Proceeded to subdivide itself."

I look at the changing sea and sky
And try to picture infinity;
I gaze at a multitude of stars
Envisaging the men on Mars,
Wondering if they too are torn
Between their sunset and their dawn
By dreadful night-engendered fears
Of what may lie beyond their years
And if they too, through thick and thin,
Are dogged by consciousness of Sin.

Have they, to give them self-reliance,
A form of Martian Christian Science?
Or do they live in constant hope
Of dispensations from some Pope?
Are they pursued from womb to tomb
By hideous prophesies of doom?
Have they cathedral, church or chapel?
Are they concerned with Adam's Apple?
Have they immortal souls like us
Or are they - less presumptuous?


Coward

Vatican Rag - Tom Lehrer

First you get down on your knees,

Fiddle with your rosaries,

Bow your head with great respect,

And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!

Do whatever steps you want if

You have cleared them with the Pontiff.

Everybody say his own

Kyrie eleison,

Doin' the Vatican Rag.

Get in line in that processional,

Step into that small confessional.

There the guy who's got religion'll

Tell you if your sin's original.

If it is, try playin' it safer,

Drink the wine and chew the wafer,

Two, four, six, eight,

Time to transubstantiate!

So get down upon your knees,

Fiddle with your rosaries,

Bow your head with great respect,

And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!

Make a cross on your abdomen,

When in Rome do like a Roman;

Ave Maria,

Gee, it's good to see ya.

Gettin' ecstatic an' sorta dramatic an'

Doin' the Vatican

Rag!